your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
