the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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