She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
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