the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
