With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
