Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize
