you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
