I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
