Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
