We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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