Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
You made out with two different species that night
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
