do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
