im holly from the hills drunk
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
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