I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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