she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
