My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
