He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
