I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
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