Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
