And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
