At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
