Buhtt sex?
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
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