I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
