I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
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