you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
