I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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