you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
