Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
