I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
