I feel great
I just peed on a car
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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