I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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