your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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