My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
