can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
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