oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
