when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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