So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
