Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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