Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
