you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Randomize
