Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Randomize
