I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
