so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
