That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Couch. On fire.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
