Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
