oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
