brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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