stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
