Sry I called you an 8
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
