I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
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