Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
